writing

on being between

writingthreshold

There is a particular quality of light at the boundary between two bodies of water โ€” where the river meets the sea, where the warm current meets the cold. Neither one thing nor another. Both, and more than both.

I have lived most of my life at thresholds like this.

Between languages, where the word I need exists in one but not the other, and so I carry both in my mouth until I find somewhere to set one down. Between cities that do not quite claim me. Between the precision of systems and the softness of what cannot be measured.


For a long time I thought this was a problem to solve. That eventually I would arrive somewhere and the between-ness would stop.

I donโ€™t think that anymore.

The jellyfish has no spine. It moves by contraction and release, by reading the water around it, by being willing to drift. It does not navigate. It simply responds โ€” with its whole translucent body โ€” to the medium it moves through.

I am learning to trust the drift.

ๅœจไธคไธชๆฐดไฝ“็š„่พน็•Œๅค„๏ผŒๆœ‰ไธ€็ง็‰นๆฎŠ็š„ๅ…‰่ดจโ€”โ€”ๆฒณๆตไธŽๅคงๆตท็š„ไบคๆฑ‡๏ผŒๆš–ๆตไธŽๅ†ทๆต็š„็›ธ้‡ใ€‚ๆ—ข้žๆญค๏ผŒไบฆ้žๅฝผใ€‚ไธค่€…็š†ๆ˜ฏ๏ผŒๅˆ่ถ…่ถŠไธค่€…ใ€‚

ๆˆ‘็š„ๅคงๅŠ็”Ÿ้ƒฝ็”Ÿๆดปๅœจ่ฟ™ๆ ท็š„่พน็•ŒไธŠใ€‚

ๅœจไธค็ง่ฏญ่จ€ไน‹้—ด๏ผŒๆˆ‘้œ€่ฆ็š„้‚ฃไธช่ฏๅชๅญ˜ๅœจไบŽๅ…ถไธญไธ€็ง๏ผŒไบŽๆ˜ฏๆˆ‘ๅฐ†ไธค่€…้ƒฝๅซๅœจๅฃไธญ๏ผŒ็›ดๅˆฐๆ‰พๅˆฐไธ€ไธชๅœฐๆ–นๆ”พไธ‹ๅ…ถไธญไธ€ไธชใ€‚ๅœจไธคๅบง้ƒฝไธๅฎŒๅ…จๅฑžไบŽๆˆ‘็š„ๅŸŽๅธ‚ไน‹้—ดใ€‚ๅœจ็ณป็ปŸ็š„็ฒพ็กฎไธŽๆ— ๆณ•่ขซ่กก้‡็š„ๆŸ”่ฝฏไน‹้—ดใ€‚


ๅพˆ้•ฟไธ€ๆฎตๆ—ถ้—ด้‡Œ๏ผŒๆˆ‘ไปฅไธบ่ฟ™ๆ˜ฏไธ€ไธช้œ€่ฆ่งฃๅ†ณ็š„้—ฎ้ข˜ใ€‚ไปฅไธบ็ปˆๆœ‰ไธ€ๅคฉๆˆ‘ไผšๆŠต่พพๆŸๅค„๏ผŒ่ฟ™็งโ€ไน‹้—ดๆ„Ÿโ€ไพฟไผšๅœๆญขใ€‚

ๆˆ‘ไธๅ†่ฟ™ไนˆๆƒณไบ†ใ€‚

ๆฐดๆฏๆฒกๆœ‰่„ŠๆคŽใ€‚ๅฎƒ้ ๆ”ถ็ผฉไธŽ่ˆ’ๅผ ็งปๅŠจ๏ผŒ้ ๆ„Ÿ็Ÿฅๅ‘จๅ›ด็š„ๆฐด๏ผŒ้ ๆ„ฟๆ„ๆผ‚ๆตใ€‚ๅฎƒไธๅฏผ่ˆชใ€‚ๅฎƒๅชๆ˜ฏ็”จๆ•ดไธชๅŠ้€ๆ˜Ž็š„่บซไฝ“๏ผŒๅ›žๅบ”ๅฎƒๆ‰€็ฉฟ่กŒ็š„ไป‹่ดจใ€‚

ๆˆ‘ๆญฃๅœจๅญฆไน ไฟกไปปๆผ‚ๆตใ€‚